


castles

by satsukiii



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Break Up, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues, Young Love, im sorry, it had to be done, jiwon is problematic, junhoe is problematic, theyre both jerks, too - Freeform, ty anon for the prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 00:48:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16733838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/satsukiii/pseuds/satsukiii
Summary: it stays there, between them, until they have rested enough to build it up into what they have dreamed of.





	castles

**Author's Note:**

  * For [that one anon on twt](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=that+one+anon+on+twt).



> junbob angst that i've been dying to write
> 
> i hope you cry bc i did SHAJSHSJH

the air felt thick and cramped despite the a.c. being on inside the apartment. his hands were feeling cold already from how tight he balled them up into. so he let go of them, before he opens his mouth to speak, "you're always like this, jiwon."

the older rubs his palm onto his face frustratedly as he walked around the living room in circles, "it was a _celebratory party_."

junhwe's frown grew deeper, "it always _is_ a celebratory party whenever you're with them. can't you come up with a more vague excuse?"

"excuse?? you think we work hard to win those matches to come up with an _excuse_??" 

junhwe flinches at the way jiwon raised his voice at him, but he refused to show it.

"what else could it be then?"

he was totally losing his temper at this point. this is the _nth_ time they've fought about this. it's always jiwon and his friends. atleast recently. all junhwe ever wanted was just a small portion of time with the man he loved dearly and it's so frustrating how neither of them could give it to themselves.

"i'm just tired of hearing the same thing every single time!" junhwe's voice echoed through the walls that boxed around them.

"oh, so you're tired now?" jiwon scoffs in disbelief, "jokes on you, because you know what? i'm tired as well. i'm sick of having to deal with your petty _nonsense_ all the time, and you never grow up junhwe!"

that stung right through junhwe's chest. right. it was him all along. he never really isn't problematic. what made him think that jiwon was different from everyone else around him?

"finally you said it yourself."

his voice was what snapped jiwon back to his senses. he _fucked_ up. big time. jiwon never meant any of that. he was just so fed up about all the fighting they've been into during the past few weeks. he never meant any of it.

the reason jiwon went out with junhwe in the first place was because he _loved_ everything the younger was. he loved his petty ass, he loved his bitchy comments, he loved him because he was junhwe. but to think of it now, jiwon was stupid to believe that someone like him would be able to fully embrace a person's flaws when he himself, is unable to embrace his.

squeezing his eyes shut, jiwon slumps down on the couch beside junhwe, "i'm sorry. i..i didn't mean that."

"no- you did. and you have every right to. i'm sorry too, for being a...jerk." junhwe whispered the last word until tears started to flow down his cheeks.

how could he be so insensitive? of course, they'd barely have time for each other. it was a known fact between them the second they stepped into college they would be swallowed alive by school work. guilt washed over junhwe when he turned to meet the other's worried eyes. he looked like a kicked puppy.

"it's okay to feel that way about me when we both know it's true."

jiwon kept silent.

"it's getting too much isn't it?" junhwe laughs to himself bitterly as he brings his knees up to his chest.

"what do you mean?"

"us."

"you'd never be _too much_ to me, junhwe." jiwon deadpans, he is kind of getting a glimpse of where this is going and he doesn't want to hear it out loud whatever junhwe was thinking of right now.

"let's split up."

three words felt like a million when they slipped out of junhwe's plump lips. it burned jiwon's chest in the worse way possible.

"junhwe, no," jiwon brings his hand to reach the younger's cheek, caressing it in attempt to calm him down.

 _no no no no no._ the second his palm made contact to his soft skin, jiwon's world started to fall apart right in front of him. junhwe hiccuped into sobs, bowing his head down low to refrain from showing his tears.

now it was both of his hands cupping junhwe's cheeks, lifting his face upwards to look him in the eye, "w-we can be better than this.." 

tears started to stream down jiwon's cheeks as he stared at junhwe's red swollen eyes. his heart broke into a million pieces after realizing that he is the one responsible for making him crumble into tiny bits right in front of him.

junhwe nods in agreement, "yes we can.. we can be better.."

"just not now." he adds.

 _he was right._

maybe they rushed into things too much, to the point they couldn't handle what they've brought to themselves. they were so young, and fragile, and carefree, how could they possibly take care of each other when they couldn't fix themselves?

jiwon leans in to press a kiss onto the younger's forehead, then to his temples, then nose, then peppering each of his cheeks as he whispered, "i love you" over and over as if he hasn't said it enough.

"i love you..too." junhwe closed his eyes to feel what seems like goodbye. but he convinced himself this won't be the end, this might be just a pause, not entirely a halt that will crumble what they had built. it stays there, between them, until they have rested enough to build it up into what they have dreamed of.

"i love you more, more than i told you, more than you can ever imagine.." jiwon mumbles close to his ear as they fell down the couch into each other's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> thank u anon on my twt 
> 
> this isnt what u asked for but shdjsjjs 
> 
> anyways i m i g h t come up with a stand alone sequel for this who knows- bc i want them to get back together shsjsh


End file.
